A crucial thing to remember about people who are abusive is that they can and will adopt and adapt. They can and will take social processes intended to isolate abusive people and use them against the very people they themselves abuse.

Most of us know someone who became socially isolated in or after a relationship because mutual friends were fed shit about the victim. That they were the one abusing the abuser, or that they had a bad case of "crazy" that could be "proven" by some cherry-picked anecdata that conveniently got into the rumor mill.

Enter discipleship

Once abusers know how to achieve this, they'll carry that knowledge forward. You know those people where all their exes are "crazy" or whatever? Yeah, them.

These people use social networks exactly the same way. Don't think you're immune.

Cancel culture is real, but it doesn't work how everyone seems to think.

@petulant in my experience once pointed out they flip the script around on the person who figured them out, thus beginning the process you highlighted.
They’re like a catch 22, I’ve lost my mind to a version of this before. I feel for the victims of it.

@Lexilaughs yeah, and our relationship and workplace narratives are built around enabling it.

@petulant @Lexilaughs yeah gosh i havent continually and including very recently dealt with a version of this or anything :blobcatsip:

@petulant @Lexilaughs fucking hell i can't even begin to count how many people have said i was gaslighting them/everyone in order to gaslight me in the last like, two days

@anna @petulant yeah that’s the worst.
Like most horrific cosmic horror I’ve ever felt was when I realized how far trapped I was, and that I had no moves. That essentially became my move.
It feels like anything you say is to the void, and it’s maddening.

I feel for you 💙

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