The Venn diagram of "vaccinating your children is just putting POISON in them" ladies and "ooh a $67 bottle full of crystals that will infuse my water with MYSTICAL ENERGIES" ladies is a circle

Ahoy me hearties, tis I Captain Macklemore, the straight pirate

looking into the bthroom mirror and saying 'wife' three times

Some among you could get it. Others among you, could not. Just one woman's opinion.

ross douthat's bad parenting takes 

Still cursing my parents for giving my child a vuvuzela and myself for not discreetly running it through a wood chipper

parent-related holidays, maybe a little bitter 

the cool wind that is blown in ahead of a storm 🌧🌬🌝

I'm just going to take a bath and have a refreshing beverage

I'd like to take a walk but I don't want to put on a bra or get my shoes on or have to get off the couch. How do I lifehack this. Where is the app.

Big moon up there. Make sure you take a look

"Will someone think of the landlords who own 150 apartments?"

Hard NO.

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