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buy a car to witness the naked grayness of the human something

I come from a long line of reply guys. My father was a reply guy. His father was a reply guy, and his father's father before him.

I said "dad, I don't want to be a reply guy" and my father was not happy. "EVERY MAN IN THIS FAMILY HAS BEEN A REPLY GUY. YOU ARE A REPLY GUY OR YOU ARE NOT MY SON", he shouted.

"Then I am not your son!" I replied.

I left home that night, and never saw my family again. I got to chase my dream. I am not a reply guy. I am but a simple libertarian furry.

I love to read posts. my brain goes "no. no. no. No. hmm. no. hahahaha!!! no. NO"

checking over my shoulder before sneaking into my closet to stroke the various roughnesses of sandpaper i have pinned up on the wall

lewd, shitpost 

Sliding the lid off the ark of the covenant and realising it’s full of baked beans

@Ophillous @starwall @CornishRepublicanArmy @JohnBrownJr @Louisa @aflightybroad @healyn okay find me some evidence of Big Metal sneaking Iron and Tin, which are both Much Heavier than Aluminum is supposed to be, into our airplanes and cans.

that's the bloody thing about windows 10. it represents... chaos! the feminine windows 10 would... in a natural environment, and this is *not* a natural environment... in a natural environment, the more... masculine and better designed windows 7 would overpower windows 10. but those bloody-- those cultural marxists, and they really are, too, the cultural marxists at microsoft wouldn't have it! they... they they they intervened with... the natural hierarchy, and they said "well, let's... let's put the feminine form on top. let's put it on top." and that's not necessarily a bad thing, but when it's at the expense of order... of masculinity and structure, things start going wrong

accidentally horny christmas present, feet 

feet pics, boosts okay 

dude. dude. dude. dude. dude i’m gonna fucking lose it

@garfiald the current slogan, "Social networking, back in your hands", will no longer do. i would suggest replacing it with "Look out. Here comes the MastoShitter"

eugen when he sees people on h3re start a lobbying campaign to add a "shitting" button that enables you to "shit" on select profiles

there is an old homophobic canard that gay sexuality is so alluring and powerful that anyone who tries being gay will never want to go back to heterosexuality again, and for once i gotta say that i agree with the homophobes here

@garfiald i have an a 1 million dollar idea that will pull mastodon directly out of the dead water. hear me out.

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