i bought a witchcraft book that was written in the 90s and oh man it does NOT disappoint
@enderwoman oh fuck. yes.
@anna this book also has several extended segments about how drugs and alcohol are bad and how you shouldn't do them
@enderwoman Silver Ravenwolf is never not entertainingly awful.
@teethandspackle i was told that i shouldn't buy this book and i didn't listen and i'm SO glad i didn't bc every single word in this is comedy gold
@enderwoman Please tell me it's Teen Witch because that book was freaking incredible. She also wrote a tie-in YA novel series and at one point marketed it in a "portable altar" (i.e. a cardboard box, I'm not joking at all)
@teethandspackle YES IT IS...... i can't believe this is a franchise.... i'm so hooked on this
@enderwoman Looks like you can still get the kit, but she's added "six magickal talismans" and some salt to the box altar: https://www.amazon.com/Teen-Witch-Kit-Silver-RavenWolf/dp/1567185541
@teethandspackle ohly shit,,,,,
@enderwoman i thought Silver Ravenwolf had never written anything decent until this exact moment
@r9 i'm happy to have enlightened you..... she's my new comedy queen
@enderwoman she's certainly up there, but my favorite occult comedy genius is still Frater Algolis
I've reposted the contents of the Book of Doom several times and I'm still waiting for a cease and desist from Hell's lawyers for copyright infringement. Any day now...
@enderwoman the NASTIEST grimoire the world has EVER seen
@r9 my new goal is to have someone say that about mine after i die
@enderwoman how much do u think he went through to make sure he secured the P.O. box 666-033? I am absolutely Living imagining the conversation that took place between Frater Algolis and a confused post office worker from Marietta, Georgia.
@enderwoman of course it's silver ravenwolf lmao
@strix she's my new favorite person on this planet
@enderwoman lucky for you she has a LOT of material for you to enjoy
@strix i've been informed that she has a whole line of tie-in ya novels w this witchcraft book and i am downloading all of them as we speak
@enderwoman oh dear you've hit the motherlode
@enderwoman oh holy shit is this Teen Witch? I have no idea how I got my mother to buy this for me
@poetryinthewater YES i just got it from a used bookstore and it's amazing
@enderwoman OH MY GOD lmao I'm dying.
it's a book page with a spell to chase trolls away:
"Mercury and Cyber Space
stamp your feet and start the chase
boogies of the net be gone
beware my magick CD rom
I cleanse, I clear, I scare away
don't come back another day!"
and underneath it says "don't forget to use your ignore button"
it's a book by "Silver Ravenwolf"
@enderwoman this is AWESOME! searching on the text you posted, i found it on the internet OMG: http://coven-of-midnight.wikidot.com/protection-spells
@enderwoman can I have it
@enderwoman holy shit what book is this I need it
it’ll be perfect next to realms of the earth angels
@mdmarron it's called teen witch by silver ravenwolf!
@enderwoman For science—err, magical reasons—I need to know what the Sky-Spirits Law and Order Spell does. And also what it says.
@enderwoman Request cancelled 😰 (On a hunch I googled it and found the spell. http://com-bos.wikidot.com/sky-spirits-law-and-order-spell ... I have so many feelings.)
@EveHasWords here's some extra text that's in the book but not on that site... idek what to say about all this....
@enderwoman brb. Adding "Beware my magick CD-ROM" to my bio.
@enderwoman holy shit abbreviating internet as 'Net is such a goddamn power move
@Absolutely_Blakely everything about this is such a power move.... if someone said "beware my magick cd rom" to me irl i would be completely owned
@enderwoman oh my god
@enderwoman "Law and Order Spell?" Is Silver Ravenwolf a cop witch?
@leila she's an idiot, so, like, same thing p much... ther'es a pic of it somewhere in the replies but basically it's a spell for "helping your case" if you are involved in anything wrt the legal system
@enderwoman "Addicst are weak"
@enderwoman Ah yes the time honoured Wiccan tradition of just copying Christian bullshit and changing as few words as possible
@witchfynder_finder what kills me about this is that this author apparently HATES christians and is constantly complaining about them and calling their religion fake
@enderwoman Oh, of course. You gotta have the cognitive dissonance, it's a key component of this brand of woo. =P
@enderwoman power animal patrol sounds very powerful
@Metrikoni the instructions literally just say to imagine your favorite animal protecting you/your house... i can't tell if i love or hate that
@enderwoman oh okay easy enoug-WAIT a minute!
Honestly this is an amazing grimoire and I congratulate you on your acquisition.
@Metrikoni it's extremely hilarious....... the cover art is bomb as hell though. it's called teen witch by silver ravenwolf if you want to look it up
@enderwoman Oh heck yeah. I know what I'm doing tomorrow~
@enderwoman This book and its tie-in portable altar were bought for me when I was in 5th grade because they were the only witchy things marketed at kids in Borders... 😂 and my mom knew I was smart enough to just take it as inspo/more grist for the mill lol
@nessotropheion i'm so jealous... i desperately need this portable altar
@enderwoman I still have the quartz crystal and god/goddess and spiral divination coins that were packaged with it mixed in with my stuff somewhere. The fancy little bell and pentagram pendant had been stolen out of my copy and I was so mad when I opened it, but now I hope whoever took them got good use from them!
(The altar itself and the accompanying book are terrible and flimsy.)
@enderwoman all of her books are like this, please check out the ones for adults there’s so much
@adriantepes i absolutely will.... i'm so obsessed w this girl
@enderwoman what is it i wanna read it
@loki teen witch by silver ravenwolf!
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