🌈clydehelder🐾 @clydehelder@witches.live

masto works again??? took like a solid 3 weeks

drawings with stock pic refs

i used to wish for an athletic build body type when i was morbidly obese, but now that i lost almost 60kg i'm happy i don't have the athletic body type. rn i'm super happy my body is build for fast muscle growth and recovery and i wanna see what my body can look like when i'm buff. my ED side still wants to be as thin as a stick but deep down i know that's not ok, but i'm kinda yoyoing between those 2 extremes; sickly thin or just healthy and buff

ever since juli 1st i've been working out in the gym again, which makes today my 9th streak. i knew i'd gain weight because i workout hard so i keep adding weight to my different exercises and muscle weighs more than fat. but boi i was kinda triggered just now bc i weigh 68 again even though i barely ate anything unhealthy. so it's hopefully muscle and/or water weight? it's a 2 sided argument in my head; the fear of gaining weight because i immediately feel morbidly obese again, but also the "desire" to have big mooscles because my body is build for that

i know it's just muscle but i still let out a little gasp bc i was a bit spooked

oh my god so i just looked down at my chest and it looks as if it more than doubled in size and it gave me chest dysphoria which i haven't felt in a long time

i should really try to eat something filling after working out.. wednesday i only ate 200g protein yoghurt, and today i ate a banana and a mango after hitting the gym. i'm super tired and i'm kinda shaking a bit, also light headed. i'm gonna eat something rn but yh, i gotta learn to eat a normal meal immediately after working out instead of 5 hours later

spent another 2.5hrs at the gym today :’) showed up at 08:00 and left at 10:45. my body is super tired and my muscles were still sore from wednesday lmao but i feel g o o d and i’m excited to build up my muscles again

i spent 2.5 hours in the gym just now, i showed up there at 08:00 and i left around 10:30. my body is gonna kill me tomorrow but BOI it felt good to finally work out again

i graduated!!

oh mY GOD the gyms are gonna open on july 1st and i am H Y P E D ! ! ! !

i like singing sometimes when i’m on my own but my vocal cords start to hurt after literally 20 to 30 seconds

it’s a pretty powerful fan for my small room tho lmao

i got my fan today and BOI i’m happy because it’s pretty warm and if i didn’t buy this thing i’d probably spend the majority of the night simmering in my own sweat instead of getting sleep