Since August 2019 when an incident went down where I misdirected frusuration with not being rapidly notified of a racist tirade originating from this instance, and despite taking extensive preventive action to avoid repeating the mistake and multiple apologies, myself and members of this instance have been relentlessly harassed.

I have been hoping for some time that some interest would be shown in deescalation, as a core tenant of this instance is that marginalized people should avoid attacking each other and set and respect healthy boundaries whenever possible. To do this, we needed to keep lines of communication open.

Enter discipleship

However, that this has only gotten worse since August, and trying to deescalate has led to even more harassment, it is crystal clear that the only interest from some parties is in seeing me literally dead and attempting to impress others in The Discourse by being increasingly hyperbolic in rumors and attacks.

The bulk of this harassment has come from three instances: cryptids, playvicious, and myasstodon. We no longer consent to federation with these instances, and since instance blocks work poorly if they are not mutual, we expect defederation in return if it has not already happened. In several hours, evening pacific time, we will enact them on our end.

@anna The worst thing is that they're absolutely going to pounce on this as more proof, because that's what happens when people who are ostracized by abusers engage in basic defensive measures. These people are targeting you and your users, and you're going to be damned if you do this and damned if you don't. That's the whole point.

@petulant naturally. if they ever want to deescalate i'll be here, but months of chances hasn't yielded anything, so at the very least not seeing the constant river of shit being poured on us will be a welcome reprieve

@anna @petulant To be honest with you, Anna? Those instances are lucky they had you to grapple with and not me. I vigorously defend my spaces and leave nothing open for opportunities to hurt me & mine to arise. I know you only wanted to reconcile and correct everything. It was really nice of you to do so too.

Because we are stronger together as a united fediverse, and although this feeling has not be reciprocated, mostly explicitly shown in how we were attacked on Saturday, you made an honest effort, and I applaud you for that, but I've been known to eviscerate and rip apart people who threatened my spaces in the past.

They were lucky to have you.

@nullandvoid @petulant always and forever i do not want to do anything but deescalate with other marginalized people. too many white cishet males need the wall to waste time throwing each other away

@anna @petulant Sure, absolutely, that's the ideal we should all strive for, but for me? I had to deal with a lot of TERF and TERF adjacent people. They'd come in with smiles and open arms, and only reveal themselves to be bastards once opportunity arose for them to attack trans women in my community arose.

The thing is, this also applies to the people who've acted in bad faith for you. You had a target on your back ever since ehjovan happened. You showed a lot of good faith in correcting yourself as you had erred, but this also gave people the idea that they could deconstruct you and turn you into some Karen of Crystal New Age Magics.

@anna @petulant These people never thought well of you, and that is what I am trying to say. There was nothing you could have done to change what happened. They were just waiting for you to make yourself vulnerable to attack, and they seized upon it when that came. I would not have been so vulnerable so as to not enable such bad faith actors to get a foothold in their assault on me & mine, it's just like with how are0h acted when you tried bringing them into the loop and trying to make their voice heard.

I simply would not have bothered once they exposed themselves as acting in bad faith towards us and ours. There is only so much that can be done with that.

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