Rune-enchanted cant

"don't talk to me before i've had my coffee!" i scream cheerfully - slamming my now bleeding palm repeatedly on the bell at the hotel reception desk - its clinging echoing wildly in the empty lobby as i turn my head robotically, eyes popped and bloodshot, roving for prey

Rune-enchanted cant

for those of you just joining me (the fed) i post about three things. my gf, my gf's cat - and the creeping maw of existential terror lurking in the corners of your vision, or the quiet moments of silence when no action occupies you - as you contemplate the vast and the end and the lonely.

so if those three things interest you please subscribe and smash that like button - quickly - while you still have hands

Rune-enchanted cant

eye contact, messy eater, no makeup 

Rune-enchanted cant

Wracked with despair, dread, exhaustion, confusion, and disorientation - you reach the center of the cavern. There is a smooth black throne; carved from what must have once been a single massive stalagmite.

Rays of light converge here, and despite the swirling mists it looks oddly dry. Even Clean. you stare at it. Not what you expected, not what you needed, and whatever else you imagined it was not this.

For what feels like hours you stand, looking around weakly and always returning to the chair. Nodding, resigned, you sit upon it. Feeling the cold of it meld to you like new flesh; you close your eyes. An absence of all feeling descends.

Rune-enchanted cant

[makes up something implausible about a word out of whole cloth]

and THAT'S why [horrifying political take]

(reblogged by thousands of impressionable young gay Tumblr users)

@pbandkate I JUST THINK WE SHOULD INCLUDE JOAQUIN PHOENIX AND JACK NICHOLSON IN OUR POLYCULE BUT NOT JAREN LETO

there’s a couple next to us in the movie theatre, waiting to see the joker, loudly renegotiating the boundaries of their polyamory, and also talking about shaving pubes, and also talking about deep throating

apparently my new thing is sneaky public bathroom sink selfies (no ec)

wede tha joker 

honest judgement. am i a weeb

food, pol 

food, gf posting 

the thing about mastodon is that you can boost a funny post that seems like a random observation, but then later find out that it was part of a huge network of takes on some drama and suddenly you're on 20 people's shitlists.

i think a horrible thing that western propaganda has done is turn any critique of a leftist government into a critique of leftism. like, human rights abuses are not a *product* of communism — made obvious by the rampant human rights abuses done by capitalist nations — but it's always positioned as such.

Broke: brand loyalty

Woke: brand blood oaths

Bespoke: being sealed alive inside a sarcophagus full of Coca-Cola™️ brand cola.

Another iteration: getting plastic surgery to more resemble a bag of Coca-Cola™️ brand sugar syrup

More?: killing the CEO of PepsiCo™️ and wearing her skin to give orders to the employees of PepsiCo™️ to commit ritual suicide and drive down the market capitalization of PepsiCo™️

i think we need a movie that's "high fidelity but it's lesbians".

i mean "high fidelity but it's queer folks", but personally of course it would mean a lot to me if the starring couple were wlw.

i did it, i quit as i was leaving my shift tonight. just "hey, i'm not gonna make it to my shift tomorrow... or any other shift. i quit, sorry." and walked out.

SO, i have a lot more time for commissions!!!!!!! hit me up if you're interested

Alcohol 

the joke of hiding something extremely innocuous under a very explicit CW is a good joke because it's the exact opposite of a jump scare. you mentally prepare to flinch and then laugh in relief that you didn't have to

selfie ec boosts +++ 

my highest pic ever taken 

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⛧Zoë Esmeralda Dangerpussy⛧'s choices:

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