i know it's irrational but it's hard not to take getting instance blocked as a personal/collective punishment.

being here makes me a bit anxious now because of how much vitriol is being spewed at the instance, but leaving would make me far more anxious - moving, even metaphysically and abstractly, takes a huge toll on my well-being. like, this is a place i sometimes leave for months at a time but it's still...a kind of home, you know?

i don't know what to do here. maybe sleeping on it will help